i barfeds in our rink
Billy Mays is dead too!
Somewhat annoying American icons better be watching their backs
So me and friend just finished Eiffel towering this girl and sounds great in theory but after the high five has commenced its just a weird threesome especially when you make eye contact with your buddy during the session
You dont understand he had a split tongue thats bucket list worthy.
I'm gonna go out in a limb and say living out middle school fantasies is never a good idea
The carpet cleaning people refuse to steam clean human feces. I'll call back later and blame it on the dog not you
You have to wear the princess leia gold bikini every Sunday
He took a girl home tonight that he was trying to sell a fridge to. She wanted a fridge and got his dick. He's got a talent.
Cops are just so fun an beautifuk
I feel like every time I get the courage to masturbate to a guy from Game of Thrones, they kill him off.
I told the person I was on the phone with to hold on while I looked for my phone. I think it's time to stop doing dabs.
He just pulled a Spanish chick using google translate!!!! We are at the bar and she speaks zero English. Hes a fucking magician!!!!!!
Seriously bro? Indoor roman candle wars? I guess I'll never see that fucking security deposit again
Why would you ask him if you could lick his chest?
He has a very lickable chest
You left your phone here
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