I drunkenly recorded an episode of Family Matters last night. I took a shot everytime Carl Winslow had a mustache.
In hindsight, trust falling your grandma was a bad idea. Sorry about that.
Because if the best sex I've ever had was with a gay guy, then God help me.
We just took turns doing keg stands. 27 is way too old for this. Out of 5 of us, our best time was 9 seconds.
So my birthday was awesome. Only remember 45 min of it but I woke up with a girl on the couch and a half bowl of ground beef
sounds like it. if it makes you feel better i blew up a $75000 farm tractor last night.
The van in front of me contains people having SEX. I am in full view of a SEX VAN.
I thought my period ended but I felt it again as soon as Pitbull started playing
The bump on my forehead, i think, was from falling asleep at front door, on my knees, slumped over. But we played good music so what?
My legs feel like baby dolphins
I REMEMBER NUGGETS BEING THERE BUT WE WERE AT A TACO BELL
Let the clothes fall where they may.
You can accomplish quite a bit with a can do attitude and a well placed ice cube.
I was just in the bathroom and some guy yelled all hail the king... i cant go anywhere without getting recognized anymore.
My orgasm happened in two different decades
Randomize
