Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
One of my preschool students told me today that it's not pollution that makes the water in lakes unclean. It's the hobos. I was absolutely speechless. And just so proud.
Is it sad I don't want to go buy $1 Mac-n-cheese cause I need to pay rent... I'm re-naming this college.
Also, peanut butter on a spoon dinner is back in existence and it is good.
What do you wear to apply at a strip club?
I can't tell if I'm hungover or if my cat just knocked the lamp on my face
first reaction to dying the pubes purple - awesome. Reaction after I explain the process - not awesome. Hypothesis? when girls find out you know to bleach and dye your hair, they're turned off.
gorilla chasing a banana on crotch rockets. Halloween is getting way too real
We were coming but I found wine on my way out the door.
It was super embarrassing when I had to tell my brother, in front of my mother, that my wifi password was Drinkupbitches. Thanks for providing that lovely family moment.
Why let a Christmas Eve hangover ruin a perfectly good Christmas Day acid trip?
ayo
its like you know when i get waxed
So she said she could really go for a cheeseburger and I remembered I had one in my pocket. No idea where it came from.
I know it sounds cheesy, but i think both me and her mum know they are "thanks for being so cool about finding nudes of your daughter on the camera" flowers
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
Dude, he came to our house with a beer can in his hand dressed up in a chicken suit screaming, "free eggs!" then threw up and passed out in the front yard.
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