Never forget that any girl can get her way if she puts her vagina on the table.
You were playing beer pong by yourself. Finally someone took the ball and threw it into the bonfire. You sat by it, cried, and contemplated how to get it out. For 45 minutes.
i was about to rearrange the room but realized that this is the only efficient setup where we can have sex while the other one's asleep without them accidentally seeing.
Just caused a nice traffic jam while trying to park at Costco. Too high to drive.
Hey, next time you have sex, flick his balls, and tell him "thats for getting spit in jennifer's eye and laughing about it."
Remember me drinking the vodka from in between your legs?
We blazed in her bathtub. All 5 of us. Not easy bro
hes out at the street wearing a tophat and a monocole and carrying a cane and greeting every car that drives by
he just went across the street and into someones house and we could hear him inviting them over from the front porch
No, i will not have sex with him again. It felt like he was trying to bulldoze his way through me. My vagina is on strike.
Well I could just do a roadtrip and hit them all. Slut tour 2012.
He wants me to hook up with his fiance while he watches. Text you later with how it goes.
She said you told her you were ready to be a dad. We just got back from our purchase of the morning after pill. That took me 2 hours of convincing. No more fucking my sister.
1. Thanks. 2. No.
You sent 2 glasses of water to the table next us and told to the waitress they were on you. I repeat: water
I was out of weed and my vibrator broke, so I'm now at Red Lobster.
I just realized I have a habit of pre gaming for therapy visits. Problem?
We'll discuss it when you get here
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