so,apparently a side effect from having sex on the beach is now i have a tanline shaped like your sister
i hate you
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
Its going to be drunk as shit/pirate themed. Im dressing as the former.
Call me when you get off. I have stories about black lesbians in jail begging to braid my hair...
There are fucking limits. Jerking another guy off in the bar toes the line.
This girl just swallowed a pealed banana whole. I'm not worthy.
she brought my homemade cookies with condoms taped to the box... im in love
Just found out that guy A from the threesome I had is now dating guy B's younger sister
WHO JUST REMOVED THAT SAME BOARD IN TWO MINUTES FLAT WITH NO INJURIES, SHOES, SOCKS, OR BRA?! THIS BITCH. CRACKIN A BEER FOR DA SHOWA. BITCHES AIN'T SHIT MOTHAFUCKA
What did he say?
NOTHING. GODDAMN HIM AND HIS MAGICAL PENIS!
Jesus I was next level high last night having a mental epiphany about the state of Virginia
Checked my bank account this morning...apparently I went to 7-11 at 4am and spent $22 on taquitos. New all time low for me.
I ate all of them. New all time low for ME.
he was Irish, I had to have sex with him.
My ex-wife, who I haven't heard from since the divorce, just Amazoned me cherry flavored massage oil and a rainbow caps with the message "Happy Pride". What's the polite response?
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
Randomize
