i jus pukd everywherw but i took a showr, come cuddle
me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
Finally jerked of with a banana peel.
they started playing Don't Stop Believin' and you had a melt down because it wasnt the Glee version
Highlight of the day: realizing the man in the car next to mine was getting road head... at 2:45pm... nicely done sir, nicely done.
funny how all you have to say is "i'm infertile" and boys are stoked on you
she worked me into her spring break cardio plan. im mondays and wednesdays.
was it me or did you scream 'champagne motherfucker' when you punched him in the face ??
I got my first tattoo & injured myself while having sex in a national monument. I say we consider this weekend siezed.
I just bought a 1/4 oz of pot from a coworker who's old enough to be my grandfather...I'm never leaving Portland.
I have to make calls today at work. So I'm gonna call your phone and leave some random messages. Just delete them.
How was the party
I came home with only one shoe, a t shirt tied around my shoeless foot and I was covered in motor oil. Oh and my shorts were inside out. So you tell me
First you stole a hockey stick out of the nieghbors yard and claimed you were moses leading his children home. Then you led us around the same block twice before I called the cab
I am that special "drink water and be grateful I'm alive" kind of hungover
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
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