who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
I woke up fully clothed on top of my sheets and i didnt even pee myself..so proud.
Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
It's gotten to the point where NOT peeing in the sink feels strange and uncomfortable.
woke up in a garbage bag. literally. it was used as a sleeping bag.
You are the patron saint of my drinking problem.
She forgot my birthday again. How do you forget something that came out of your vagina???
Balls are wasted. Waste are ballsted. Ballsd wasted
after i talked him through a bulleted list of why we couldn't have sex he just said "but it would be fun...."
A zombie called me motorboat central while participating in an auction to motorboat my tits. he then proceeded to propose, insisting that he makes alot money.
All is fair in love and war and toga parties
How would your parents feel if we installed a sex swing?
But lunch with my dad really just means an hour and a half of him telling me how he's disappointed and how he knows I'm on drugs
I smell like cowboy sweat. I got two lap dances. This is the best day of my life!
Randomize