He said he was from Mississippi and my vagina clamped shut like a frightened oyster
on the way home the dog started throwing up her bone in the car..so naturally i started to puke too
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
every single one of us blacked out. we woke up the next morning and it was like the night never happened. IT'S STILL A MYSTERY
Chelsea handler, $19 million - Forbes women top 100. Seriously she shaped her career around her love of vodka. HERO.
I made an oral joke and he laughed... That's when I realized I wasn't Daddy's Little Girl anymore.
just when i thought we would make it home without incident he tried to walk a police dog
Just heard one of my friends say, "if you're trying to take advantage of me I really dont care. I just want this beer." ..
I tried to make friends with the geese living behind Hughes. They didn't really like that idea.
Are you high?
I feel like I grabbed someones dick last night, & if I didn't I'll be disappointed in myself
I have to be more responsible. I've dropped three lighters into my bong today.
Can I just say I love the fact that were in business with guys where I can write a hand job up hoes down text message
He was jealous of me and threatened by me. I'm like, just cause I could fuck your girlfriend doesn't mean I'm going to
She's not even my type. She doesn't have a penis or a drug problem
I almost took a picture but it looked like he might have a shank and I'm just not at a place in my life where I could handle having tetanus
The fact our science teacher from high school was buying us drinks and hitting on me doesn't matter.
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