Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
got hammered last night, woke up this morning to 38 texts that varied from "you fucking asshole" to "i can be there in 10 minutes"
Just spent the last of my lifesavings on (what i hope is enough of) alcohol. Hello summer.
We were having sex and his high flatmates stood outside his room playing the guitar and singing Somebody to Love by Justin Beiber. Weirdest night ever.
OH. MY. GOD. FUCK HIM. JUST GRAB HIM AND FUCK HIM.
This is true. I'm still having Jess write "no drugs" on my left hand and "except weed" on my right hand
I got tossed from adult league soccer for telling a 55 year old I'd break his hip. I'm a productive member of society
I'm ordering sushi and crying over finals. Come over and bring wine.
Beer bong just needs to be rebedazzled but it's gonna make it
Do you know how fucking great a bath bomb is when you're high?
if you're not jumping for joy when you see penis then you're looking at the wrong ones.
Let's be honest, college orientation is going to be "here's how to drink everclear"
Stop talking and go back to bed. You're in the kitchen in your underwear and slept in your car.
Why does my nose taste spicy?
How do you know what your nose tastes like?
I could be doing way worse things besides texting him 'come over and bang my headache away'. i could be on meth
Randomize
