Best moment of my life. I just got a text from some random number that said i can't wait to touch you. Her name is kiara and she had the wrong number.
legit been throwing up since 7am. told my parents the two bowls of puke in my dorm were soup
Just bought a McDouble with a tightly rolled dollar. The lady just gave me a sad face...
Great I'll forever be branded as gym slut at the new gym.
He just dragged himself across the floor on his back claiming to be "the swiffer" help
I like to take my ritalin one pill at a time with each pill spaced out a couple minutes so I feel like I'm going super saiyan when they kick in.
You should probably stop your little brother from ruining thanksgiving. I just caught him trying to stuff a cake in a drawer... And now he's puking.
And know that if I ever text "road head?" that it comes from a place of caring and not a place of heartlessness..
So like if I threw up in my purse is that "don't ever show your face in public again" worthy or just slightly frowned upon
I nicknamed her "Jackhammer" for the way she gave me a handjob. My balls were in constant pain
MY LIFE IS A TRAINWRECK THATS ON FIRE BUT SOMEHOW STILL MOVING, I HAVE THE RIGHT TO SCREAM OUTSIDE AT 2AM
When I met you, I was just like "who the fuck is this drunk chick throwing up on my bed?" But I'm glad we're friends now
She abandoned me on the doorstep of her hostel. Turns out you can't bring one night stands into those places. Slept in a train station next to a tramp. He gave me chips. And didn't steal my shit while I slept. So I'm counting this one as a win
Omg worst high ever. I'm watching Parks and Rec, and all i can think about is how andy, leslie, and tom are my closest friends. Forever alone.
I sent him nudes while he is at work because I am an evil human being.
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