think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
Some guy with no shirt on and his pants undone informed us he was kicked out of the cab
I asked him why, and he had absolutely no idea.
let's just say, the carpet matched the drapes. in colour and length.
he was screaming in a recently acquired accent that he paid for delivery and they could cancel the entire order if they didn't come upstairs
I thought you said it was going to get worse not hilarious.
the delivery boy turned out to be my students mother. now she knows that i have incredibly low standards AND thanks to the fact that he still has dialup the pizza tracker was way off and she rang the bell and he answered mid bong rip.
tolerance is too high. going on a liquor strike. ghandi style.
Your excessive judging is making this uncomfortable
You had salsa out and brought a banana on a plate to bed
He wouldn't give me a cup of water for my bong so i sat in the drive thru to run up the timer until he gave it to me.
She had forties taped to her hands and was trying to give him a hand job while he was passed out, with everyone in the living room.
On another note, why did I wake up wrapped in bubble wrap. I can only assume it was for my own safety
don't say the first was when I crawled under into the dressing room
Tequila is gods way of telling you don't fuck with tequila
I may have just tried to argue quantum entanglement as the reason I was still in her bed.
I got so drunk that I peed my bed...and all over him. The ironic thing is that he slept in his swimming trunks.
Hey, what's a nice way of saying "Why'd you send me a picture of your boobs last night" without seeming ungrateful?
Randomize