So I don't have any furniture but we just skateboard drunk around the floor.
i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
his penis is like a homeless cat. ever since I've satisfied him he keeps showing up on my doorstep ask for more.
Gave out candy dressed as a porn star...bet you can guess how the mothers kept reacting.
In retrospect - making it rain salt all over our kitchen was not one of my best ideas.
who am I kidding I don't have any dignity. Plus we're not doing a porno, we're just doing random things naked
There are apples in the microwave and a cup of twigs in the fridge. I think she's hiding in the pantry, I can hear her giggling. Leaving her to it.
You'd be amazed at how difficult it is to find pics of the helicopter dick
I am very proud of your internet skills
After getting all 4 of my wisdom teeth removed I asked my dentist how much better would I be at head
Cant really say how it happened but i woke up in the middle of the night and somehow pissed all over connors dad
Okay first of all, that is a sick ass nickname please call me that forever. Second, i need your help.
Some girls wake up to good morning texts. I wake up to pictures of an angry Shrek getting a blowjob.
When I woke up this morning I swear my mouth tasted like dick and rolaids.
Hahaha. I'm so high, this is gonna be so intense. Even the DVD menu scared the shit out of me.
Stop inviting Kevin over. The dickless wonder started playing some strange Sci-FY music and speaking an alien language and the girls split.
Randomize
