He’s a liberal pot smoker and perfect for me. He invented a game where we have to smoke a joint every time you hear a Middle Eastern accent on NPR.
I will show your tits more attention than Michael Jackson's death.
please come you make the beer taste better
went to the gyno and found out that i have a birthmark on my clit. its like god gave guys a little help when it comes to getting me off.
you hid your keys in a box of lucky charms because drunk you was apparently going to eat them for breakfast...
i can't sleep with him. he has a scrapbook from the girl he lost his virginity to.
He is the one I "technically" lost my virginity to.
I feel like you never had a virginity..
No, i will not have sex with him again. It felt like he was trying to bulldoze his way through me. My vagina is on strike.
Bon Iver should never be played when you just ate shrooms.
I think you're my mermaid sister. Separated at birth, by sea.
He sent a video of him jacking off....class will be awkward tomorrow
He was on top and as he finished he yelled "I love gold" , so yeah I'm seeing him later tonight
He's 5'2" and his dick 4'8"
My yoga ball is now going to be used for actual exercise instead of somewhere to suction cup a dildo
I wish there were more things in this world as wonderful as string cheese
Surriously
Randomize
