I am stoned and watching Pocahontas. I am letting the kids eat whatever they want. I am the best babysitter in the whole wide world
Tequila is the liquid version of celery. I lose more calories during tequila drunk and the following sexual activities than I gain by drinking it...
I had a dream last night that you and me were eating cheesecake and according to my FATHER I was moaning really loud in my sleep. I seriously have issues.
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
he ate me out like he was chugging a beer.
Passed out mid cig in bed last night. Thank you cough for allowing me legal prescription hydrocodone.
Dude, the lecture theatre is caving in on me.
It's supposed to be a shit show, it's an end of the world party.
I ended up in a bathroom giving my hymen a pep talk
I kinda took a step back after our "surprise bottles night"
Sometimes the gods of alcohol choose to take you on a mysterious journey and you just have to go with it
You know your acid trip is going well when the orange you're eating gives you a life lesson
That makes sense.. A good Bj is a trump card in any argument
I don't really want to explain what i mean by this so just answer yes or no. are 5 cows enough?
You can't say that. Only if you have peed on the side of the highway in daylight while signing Christmas songs can you say that.
Randomize
