so ur a construction worker, male escort, sex god and surfer? lol
well its been awhile since I've surfed
oh right, i forgot that not everyone has a go-to blowjob
I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
She has never blacked out. I have tried to get her to so many times. Apparently it's a lot harder than we make it out to be.
I just found out my mom named me after her fake ID from college...
His rebound girl is half his size, looks like a leprechaun, is majoring in theater studies and has arms like Rosie O'donnell. Do I win?
All you need to do now is invest in a Speedo and start going door to door.
Cute underage boy is in my house.
OH MY GOD. DON'T DO ANYTHING. WHY IS HE IN YOUR HOUSE.
You're cock blocking me from my own boyfriend. What kind of shit is that?
I took the pregnancy test for shits and giggles, but neither shits nor giggles were had.
this is a save-me-from-tijuana-tequila-and-hoookers booty call. if i don't hear from you by 8pm i'm grabbing my passport
if i'm not back tomorrow call the embassy
It's hard to talk dirty with a mouth full of peanut butter
What's the plan?
Not sure. I think I'll take a dump on his windshield.
Yo did you say we are blacking out saturday night and playing dodgeball?
Yeah for relay for life. Its for cancer
Wait you took his virginity AND broke his bed doing it
I know! I’m the best!
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