He said he used to draw on the walls with poop when he was a kid.
I wish we never smoked. I'm literally laying in bed opening and closing my eyes, just hoping a hot dog stand will appear in the room.
she said she likes her vagina punished
being with you and your tiny dick is punishment enough
He just made me a heart out of cocaine... i think i'm in love
I'm really debating making a second facebook. Same name only with DRUNK at the end. That way I can keep the guys I only talk to when I'm drunk on that facebook and only go on it when im drunk.
Not sure. No solid plans. Just tanning nude.
Walmart at night is scary enough without having to run into people you've slept with
so gross sitting on a warm chair at a restaurant..you just know a fat person was sitting there shoveling food into their face for hours.
Intramural soccer game tonight. Be ready for blood. I haven't sobered up since thursday
Please don't mistake my med student status for responsibility. I'm drinking tequila while studying vascular surgery techniques.
Yeah, my new jeep also came with custom license plates that read 4SKIIN. Not "4 skin" but "4 skiing" thanks mom and dad
Is there a polite/non-lush way to ask how alcohol ranks on their list of priorities? Because like idk how to break the ice furreal.
Happy birthday and sorry I punched your friend in the face
So my plane's delayed and some guy is talking to "sparkles" he just told her to never again sell drinks from her cleavage. This is why I don't go home
I choose my mates solely based on size and ability. No cuddles. No sleep overs. Definitely no repeats.
Randomize