Busta Rhymes just yelled at me! He cut a song off and I was clapping and he looked right at me and said "don't fucking clap." I was that white guy.
My favorite part of the day is the 2 seconds of ignorance you have when you first wake up. Right before you remember where your mouth was last night.
Um, I don't really remember much about the event... and then I woke up on the metro..
im spending all my christmas money on new years parafanalia aka things I will ingest or lose by the next morning
Apparently he ran around last night saying he was 'the hulk hogan of muff diving'
She told me I was only the second guy she slept with. I told her she was only my second Megan.
i almost burnt down an apartment complex. little busy, get back to you later
that wasn't rum that I poured down your throat while you were sleeping
Woke up with his dick on the side of my face, it's like he passed out mid-mushroom stamp.
Sharing a bathroom with a guy sucks. I always have to set an alarm for the middle of the night just so I can take a dump. Poop text btw
We're walking, taxis are a waste of money that can be spent on alcohol.
Like he held up the condom afterwards, twirled it with his finger, and said "look at that load"
I watch one musical on Netflix, and the "Suggested for you" section is literally almost the entire gay movie category. I feel profiled, and netflixs' accuracy about my sexuality is both impressive and offensive.
Can't meet up at the party. Gary was caught by the cops attempting to drop a deuce thru his ex wife's Subaru via sun roof. Details as soon as bail is processed.
You mentioned his name and i threw up a little.
Randomize
