They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
nothing makes up for a small, perpetually flaccid penis quite like a British accent
I really like you, but I want to get to know you on a time when I am not at drugs.
I couldn't get past the raccoon on my porch so i slept on my lawn.
Im the macgyver of cooling down beers. The toilet tank was blocked so I couldn't use it.....
Dude, did you really "knight me" and tell me I had permission to bang your sister last night?
I dont think ive ever had a drunk day betray me so hard before
I'm ready to take a few years of my life this weekend
About to be a 4Loko vomit fountain in 45 seconds, what color will it be? Animated birds will fly out of me.
I don't have time to shower before my passport photos...your cum is all over my hair...that's with me for 10 years now
Who loses their virginity to fucking Flo Rida
It's not my fault, Tequila turned all my alarms off.
WE ARE DOING DRUGS AND GOING TO THE STRIP CLUB SATURDAY LADIES
it was like where's waldo, only the stakes were much higher.
I know you can't find me. Somehow I ended up on the roof smoking a cig with the strippers that are on break. Way too drunk to deal with this right now.
Randomize
