Ah why did you tell everyone you dragged your sac across my face!
I'm so hungover that the internet is hard.
We're upstairs smoking....the password is pineapple
She didn't even ask about the dinosaur pinata in my trunk. Like at this point I think these are the things she expects from me
im drunk. people are steering their children away from me. whatever it is that you called for, I assure you that I don't care. have a good night
I Know I'm the drunk girl in the trunk right now, BUT PLEASE LISTEN TO ME!
I cant believe you went home with her.. Your poor immune system and the shit you put it through.
tried doing a cartwheel after 10 beers. Guess who has a dislocated shoulder.
You're right. Single life welcomed me back with open arms. It's like it knew it wasnt going to be long when I left.
All you need to do now is invest in a Speedo and start going door to door.
Great news I took pics last night
Warning: most of them are of you peeing while I take selfies
In the middle of me riding him, he stopped me and said "You're the kind of person who would be restrained for being obnoxiously drunk on an airplane, huh?"
Three of my exes and one of my exes' brothers have hit me up and it's only been a week. I hate semester break.
There's a lady rapping at me about making healthy food choices. She lives in a refrigerator. This is not okay with me
His dick is social distance approved
Social distance approved?
big enough for me to fuck from six feet away
Randomize
