i don't like sucking hair
I didn't talk to you tonight because I've decided you look like a man.
You remember correctly you did get a golf cart ride out but it wasnt because you were special. You were so smashed you were screaming tiger at random golfers in the middle of there backswing.
I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
By the grace of god and the ingenuity of Alexander Graham Bell, this text message is made possibe: YOU ARE A WHORE
im laying here in the parking lot drinking a warm coke, prob still drunk, feeling like i need to apologize to everyone i know
The fact that I am sitting home writing a resume while you're out inducing vomiting makes me feel like way more of an adult than I'm ready to be.
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
i hope this doesn't spoil anything but there are vikings and it is awesome
His grandma held his dogs so they wouldn't follow me out the door. It was like a whole new level added to my walk of shame.
Maybe is for pussies. We only say yes in this household
You pretended to be Borat in that weird slingshot bathing suit and then proceeded to send another dick pic/nude selfie and said you weren't naked because you were wearing a hat.
I'm deleting Tinder. I got there he rubbed my back and then proceeded to jerk off on me.
dude you know how i got totally hammered and lost my phone at some frat when i came to visit you two months ago? yeah well someone mailed it back to me in minnesota.. with a picture of a cock as the screen savor
he's spending the night tonight. if i can walk straight tomorrow i'll be pissed.
Randomize
