look to my right... shes dancing like she's playing dance dance revolution and her character is a retarded, drunken moose
some random kid just walked into our apartment with two cases... I don't know who he is but I like him
I heard about the break up and if you need a place to stay my vagina is open for you 24/7
Being at this stripclub only reinforces how single I am. And I was *just* becoming okay with that.
I have too much respect and admiration for my dick to put it into a situation where he could possibly be killed
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
Just jerked off with bubble wrap. Not as awesome as it sounds.
I think I'm drunk at the airport. Oh the possibilities
Maybe I can find a straight girl rehab camp, like the opposite of those degaying camps, where they teach me how to love the ladies instead
Omg. I would pay ALL OF THE MONEY for that camp.
She's been with the dude for a week saying she's in love. Yeah so am I. I just opened this beer 5 minutes ago and I LOVE IT ALREADY.
He said I was really mad at him on Friday. Dude I fell asleep in all my clothes and shoes, with my flashlight on, on my phone... I could have been mad at the wall. It wasn't my classiest day.
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
We just took an Eskimo family picture.. It's pretty cute honestly
I just threw up a strange neon green substance. Did I eat a glow stick last night?
But the real reason your aunt is drunk crying is because she has already had four margs and went for a 5th and someone is trying to stop her
Randomize
