Grilled cheese is the best thing. ever. better than boys, and alcohol, and sex, and chocolate, and money. But not really the last two.
well when do great stories at the expense of people's relationships become a bad thing?
I truly believe that the solid foundation of any healthy relationship is a drunken one night stand so I can just get all the nasty shit out on the table
How is it possible that i have sex with a guy and he makes YOU breakfast
only you would end up drunk at a subway with a one-eyed homeless man
okay. this is james and youre probably never ever gonna see me again unless i really really really want some pussy. sorry.
On the one year anniversary of me loosing my virginity... thousands of people will be taking their pants of on subways all around the world
It's like a tribute to you being a slut
despite the cops showing up at 8am, pre gaming groundhog day was my idea yet. and by pre gaming, i of course mean getting black out drunk by 7:30am
Serious question: when you had my right nipple in your mouth, did my nipple ring have both of the balls on it, or was it missing one. Current situation: missing one.
God fucking bless the man who invented the vibrator. Bless him and all his descendants. I think I saw the face of God tonight
There was so much jailbait at the festival that there was no other option but to drink my morals away
Let's just say it was like a porno version of Aladdin....
My saturday night consisted of sewing my Halloween costume and watching Blues Clues
You actually...sewed your costume?
The adults are the big ones right?
People probably think I’m a fangirl bc I go to so many shows but it’s really bc I like fucking the tour manager
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