But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
and while your girlfriend wears your relationship pants, i'll be wearing my ecstasy pants
i need a new camera phone. my pictures from last night are as blurry as my memories. and neither tell me why i woke up in an airplane hangar.
You guys need to get along, there is no need for a pissing contest...We're all fucking each others ex's.
should i be impressed or disgusted that i was spitting glow-in-the-dark?
I realize now that I left my pants on that table in the downstairs bathroom at you house on Tuesday....
You may have cured my horniness. I feel like my libido just got shat on by kittens who live on an enchanted rainbow.
Give us adventure or give us cock. Or cocktails.
Hot Italian guy literally came into my logic class just to get my number to study with me and left. America.
I had lunch with him today and quietly mourned his wasted good looks on such a disappointing set of genitals.
Last time I checked he was house sitting for his ex while she was out of town with some new dude. He was crying about how the guy told him to stay out of his whiskey while he was gone. That's whipped
You shouldn't play strip poker when you're having a wet fart kind of day.
as I was leaving in the morning with his clothes on his roommate pops up and goes 'don't you dare steal that shirt, i gave it to him for his birthday'.
He stood next to me peeing as I was puking behind a car in the parking lot, telling me how much he loved me. On the other hand, he loves me!
You think my vibrator will be okay in the dishwasher?
Randomize
