that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
just did a line in a complete hula outfit off a chick in a devil costume. do you think hell will be this good?
You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
In a meeting with the accounting department. This shit is even more boring in real life and there isn't a professor to wake me up.
this stripper weighs a pound. I feel like I should tip her in food.
Walk of Shame today included voting.
You skyped me last night to show me the girl passed out on your bed.
Turns out puking in your mask makes it even harder to see out of the mask..
your vagina must have magic restorative powers I feel rested and powerful this morning.
Damn why is there no horse blowjob emoji?
He drunkenly stumbled over to me and told me my "crotch looks spectacular tonight"..... i think this could work
I HAVENT HAD A NICE A NICE DICK SINCE FEBRUARY!! I WANNA KEEP THIS ONE!!!
Of course I fucked her, her man stole my bike when we were kids
All she said was "Do me by Friday."
Randomize
