She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
you are the weird ass hat to my lady gaga
Do you think anyone has ever tried to have sex with a cows udder before?
she "accidentally" hit me with her car, its almost as if she know im fucking her boyfriend.
I've gone to the bathroom 3 times. And forgot to pee. 3 times. Let's say we call it a night, I need to be found. I see a fish tank by the bar and some stairs.
Why are you seriouly talking to me about this when there naked pics of blake lively on the internet? Priorities man...
He said he had a problem he needed to take care of before we got omelets and then showed me his erection.
It got messy; I did a shot of seamonkeys.
I refused to call him anything but Drake eyebrows all night.
I wish I could have a tequila IV with me all the time. Intravenous tequila intoxication.
He's been pretending to be gay for 3 months in order to get free weed.
I'm sitting next to the guy that peed in our drying machine
I woke up naked with a Jason mask on and a fat lip. What happened last night?
If you're gonna show up unannounced on hangover day, you better have coffee doughnuts and a boner
Can I come over and get it in, take a nap in ur bed, grab some poptarts and then leave?
You haven't lost that air of class about you...
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