the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
Did you see the soccer ref give that girl the red card as she was being kicked out of the party?
Its the Friday before break. There are 20 kids in my 300 person lecture hall. All with the same what the fuck am I doing here look on there face.
You told my mother that her salad dressing tasted like semen.
I'm watching this guy on intervention hospitalized for liver damage. He's drinking the hand sanitizer in the hospital room. Say hello to your future.
he was shitfaced drunk and couldn't walk but could still recite the top 10 in order from the first season of american idol. impressive
There is tupperware vodka. thats right tupperwares full of vodka. best leftovers ever
I am sweating out the vodka to make room for the whiskey tonight.
she demanded that I make her breakfast too so im in the bathroom cooking bacon with her straightener
He is juggling broken glass botttles, I think its time to cut him off...
he tried to give me his business card but gave me his health insurance card then realized it and offered to take me to the strip club
Instead of more alcohol, I decided to drink tea. Lets slow clap it out for me
I need a moral compass that doesn't always point to dick
I'm all about clean living these days
You started your day with fried chicken and a bloody
... after you woke up in your own urine
I have 2 bottles of wine, a sharpie, and a panda mask and don't have to wake up early. Can u do the math on this?
Randomize
