just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
He wanted a quickie. I said, can I play doodle jump on my iPhone during? And that's exactly how it went.
I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
Just found out I have to work new year's eve. It's like one final 'fuck you' from 2009.
he just spelled fiance, "pheancie". I dont think he's ready to get married.
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
working out is totally making me break out.. i'm doomed to forever be either a butterface or a butterbod. there is no way out.
I swear my cock is like a magnet to my friends younger sisters mouths.
I action rolled over a firepit. Twice. I am the action roll king
Ive made peace with the fact that i will accomplish nothing except liver damage today
Yeah dude, it's amazing. Be careful though, that shit is really really intense. Like it's way more intense than normal shit...
I took two and feel like crushed diamonds spread over glazing marmalade
I like to imagine god has to get plastered to deal with the fact that he made you and me
if Anne Taylor knew what she did in her clothes, she'd be banned from the store.
oh come on, it's the perfect length summer dress to blow a stranger in the bathroom in
I've been sober for almost two weeks and it's been the worst two weeks ever. Even my mom told me I need to start drinking again.
i saved a drunk oompa loompa he was passed out on the lawn and i picked him up figured out where he lived and put him in his bed and wrote his roommate a note
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