its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
even the sluttiest version of myself will not go down on him
She made me cum so hard I couldn't hear for half an hour after
I just found a receipt from ace where I bought 1 lrg plastic funnel, 2ft of 1" plastic tubing, and a 48" toboggan sled. Thank you cashier #552 for letting that poor life decision happen.
I know I am usually the slut but tonight it's her. She is being a slut, yes slut, T as in Tomorrow, U as in Uterus, L as in Llama and S as in Sangria. That spells slut, but backwards and that's what she is being.
What kind of costume was that supposed to be??
I'm an orgasm trader!
It was great. They teamed up to hit on these two frat boys all night, until the frat boys started making out with each other. The looks on their faces...
end of the world party next friday. virgin sacrifice. tell me you know someone whos still a virgin
Yea... The gym isn't gunna happen today... When I was drunk last night I tried to prove I could front flip off the wheel cover of a semi... I fucked up my shoulder pretty bad... It was more of a roll
I need to reevaluate. My boss gave me drug money. I overslept on my couch. And I had my student teacher go to McDonald's and get an egg mcmuffin for me.
Getting food poisoning after eating at work was the cherry on top of my "Welcome back to real life" sundae.
He lit my hand on fire and bought me chicken nuggets. I'm in love.
I prefer to think of hangovers as extreme sobriety, which can only be cured by more booze
not even sure this counts as hungover but like my body can't exist in reality today
Randomize
