Balls are like the throw pillows of the penis
I'm gonna die fat and alone and all they will find is pizza crusts
Def ran into my elementary school babysitter at the grocery store. Still hot. And she complimented my beer choice. It feels good to still have her approval
now you know why we've never bought a 12 pack of king cobras before.
Your "OraGel will numb anything" theory was the worst thing I ever believed in.
She called to say she's single and blow job season is back.
I have a physical this friday. On a scale from 1-10, 10 being the most judgemental gay bashing, how much judgement am I gonna get from my dr when he checks my balls and sees the cherry tattoo
There should be a rule. If your dick is under 6 inches, you are not allowed to dress as Thor.
You fed me pizza off a sword last night.
But for real, I had the best sex of my life on that bunk bed
Building a door into the garage so when I bring girls home my mom doesn't wake up.
Pathetic yet considerate
Yeah started playing at the wedding last night, when the line. "Ludacris fills cups like DD" he starts pointing at my tits right in front of his grandparents.
Just try not to have a boner when you're giving your best man speech, it will really kill the vibe
We were making eye contact while i was throwing up.
Hypothetically speaking of course, is it bad if a cat eats lube?
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