What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
My parents came down to check and make sure I wasn't into any mischief then proceeded to give me alcohol.
I drank almost a whole fifth last night. Woke up with blood everywhere wearing a "stereotype this" tshirt. How fitting
I know i'm the slutty cousin, but be honest. have you ever got your nose ring caught on a guy's zipper?
I am literally using a balloon as a pillow on a park bench.
Ice cream after masturbating>masturbating any other time
she did 8 shots of vodka. THROUGH A SIPPY STRAW
I have got to meet this girl.
Of dear god, I've been waiting to have rug burn like this since I got bored of my vibrator 2 months ago
Not to mention I think lunch is a little inappropriate when our relationship is only based on Mario kart and alcohol so far...
To be honest I've become too lazy for the work involved in getting laid.
You run marathons and you're too lazy for sex? Priorities, man.
Touche.
What exactly do I say to a random stoner hookup to thank him for ending my dry spell? Is it awkward to just say "Thanks for that. It was well needed."
listen i get youre a daddy dom but that doesnt give you a pass to make dad jokes
I got pulled over by the same cop in a 4.5 hour window. Got off both times. Fuck yes.
I come home to my brother mixing skittles and vodka. We're all proud of him.
I'm getting drunk off Malibu and watching Drag Race and it's only 2 in the afternoon. I'm the poster child for sad gay men.
Randomize
