so im in the parking lot of taco bell eating a taco...and some girl just got out of a car and screamed at the top of her lungs "XANEX FOR SALE!!!!" i fucking love Hamilton.
I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
I don't know what your problem is but seriously you're a cunt for throwing up that song on your page. It's rude as fuck
omg its myspace i didnt think anyone took that seriously anymore
is facebook stalking your hot therapist socially acceptable?
The only thing I really remember is repeating "I hope I still have a job on Monday". Oh and pulling my boob out of my dress.
So I take it the company Christmas dinner went well then...
Our kitchen sink faucet is leaking, so I set a pitcher under it to catch water for Kool-Aid tomorrow rather than turn on the faucet. The environment owes me.
I created another version of Halloween, it's called swalloween, whatever girl in a slutty costume you bring home has to swallow or forever be known as the holiday grinch
You cant come. You're a Colorado native who drinks Bud over Coors. Fucking homegrown terrorist.
yeah that bottle of rum is only the second thing I want that kid to be pulling out of his pants
Woke up with a 22 year old with the number for a different girl written on my stomach, almost 30 can suck my dick I still got this shit
Do you ever get a cramp in like, ONE labia?
I can't remember what I did last night, but judging from the state of my hair I had a pretty good time.
You tried to run away last night. The neighbors brought you back.you were in their hot tub again. This needs to stop
My drug dealer just told me goodnight...I still don't know his name. But I guess you can say we've moved to the next step.
This is the fourth guy that I've broken in to gay sex. How the hell do they find me?
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