mutual masturbation is only cool if cash money records is involved.
They said "my eyes made me look intoxicated" ......we harassed them all night and we called the cops and told them that the bouncer that kicked us out was selling meth in the club ...and then we went to wendys
Please dont jizz on my ds screen.
So I told her I dislocated my shoulder and she said "well okay. I can either be on top or blow you."
Decisions, decisions.
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
Do you think that we can get a group discount on liver transplants? We'll be like kids again!
Apparently, I kept going on about how i'm going to name my first born Ramen. I think this is a good parenting move.
Totally sleeping on a bloodstained mattress tonight. I love life's little adventures.
Being drunk is way better. Seriously, I just licked your brother to make sure my spit was actually real.
Whether ya want it or not, it's gonna happen. Assimilate to the gay
I just had sex in the footy bunny pajamas my mom bought me for christmas. Tis the season
it was the kind of sex that I don't even know how my hair extentions are still in
Nothing says girls night like wine cheese and pregnancy tests 😂
I can't believe I slept with a girl who has the words shucks in her vocabulary. I'm getting less picky by the day..
Randomize
