i wish they had a 'baby daddy' section in halmark, like, "hey, i know you didn't want this child and you're doing a horrible job, but here's to making you cry on fathers day"
I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
I mean, it really isn't YOUR car until you have sex in it.
woke up to an overdrawn credit card. did you order the dawsons creek boxset last night?
i hope so.
I look at sleeping with him as a way to get up in the world. He will lead me on to bigger and better penises.
You weren't just peeing. You were like grinding on it. And you tried to pee in the washing machine first.
Ur gonna wake up early as dick tomorrow to do some responsible shit but im the one up at 3 am right now cooking brats soaked in keystone light so fuck your falling asleep ass bitch
I'm reliable. I always make it home. I always throw up in the street too.
I walked around with red solo cups on my feet, weeds tied around my neck and a tree in my hand
I texted him a series of texts in which the first letters of each text spelled out "WE SHOULD HAVE SEX". If that's not dedication to the dick, I don't know what is
his first fb message to me in 3 years was "is your cock open for business?" im blocking him
I just chased my hot mailman down the street to ask him out and now I am 98% positive he gave me a fake number.
Yeah, everything was going great until the mugging.
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
Randomize
