end the night at a gay bar...not sure how...but why the fuck do i have two condoms in my pocket?
This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
When I like her vacation photos, it really means "Im sleeping with your boyfriend." wonder if she will make the connection.
and then he tried plucking my nose hairs. lines were crossed.
She is wasted and this random lady got her to suckle milk from her tit
I'll have my hookups make my March Madness picks. Win my bracket, win my heart. That's how it works right?
there is a dorito bag in my car full of my mouth blood
he's gonorrhea incarnate
So then you challenged the bartender to an arm wrestling contest for a free bottle of vodka
Sweet. Did I win?
Youre hungover arent you?
you took a potato out of your pocket and just started eating it raw. don't know where the potato came from though
21st birthday = success
yeah...that's gonna come up in court
I told her to to let go of her rationtal thoughts and just enjoy the fact that i was going down on her till she passed out from sheer orgasmic pleasure.
An orgasm and grocery shopping is the appropriate start to every Monday.
I'm eating shredded cheese and chugging coke, until I can function again. I'm tingling everywhere
when i was on the highway she passed out and knocked my transmission into nuetral with her forehead...that was an experience
Randomize
