WOAH SHIT! That wasn't my girlfriend last night.
My farts woke her up so I pretended to be keep sleeping.
I had a talk with my mom about respecting myself and not acting like a whore so she will rip my nose ring out if she somehow sees that picture
My foreign exchange student got here today. I turned on man vs. food and told her that "this is all you need to know about America."
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
some guy i've known for a week sent me nudes saying "you're welcome" i need an award for this birthday
I know I'm not the first to fuck in a park but i deserve props for doing it at 3pm. On a sunny day might I add.
Cant wait to drunkenly tell by kids that i banged their aunt katie in a weird threesome
I tried to lock you in the bathroom stall because you were too drunk. But you escaped from underneath, I gave up
Fuck that. I will get OUT of CONTROL And rise from a hangover on Sunday like Jesus himself.
i should probably stop thinking with my vagina, and start using that $70, 000 education i can't afford. what the fuck.
I'm really sorry that I blew your friend in your bed, but to be fair he started it.
I might be the strongest willed bouncer ever. Earlier tonight a girl flashed me trying to get in. I just replied "Sorry I'm gay", she believed me and left.
he said he was going to fuck me like a rabbit in heat. What he should have said was faster then a train and over before a commercial
She's wear your skin crazy! Is it wrong that I'm gonna fuck her 1 more time though?
Randomize
