It's just like the Real World with babies
I'm relatively certain my chiropractor just judged me for admitting that my back is misaligned from the sex we had last night...
I was born in the year of the cock... How fitting.
So, do you know where my left shoe is? I mean, we were at a few places last night, and I called them. No luck for me.
Easy Mac is falling out of my sweatshirt as I'm walking down the street.
im drunk. people are steering their children away from me. whatever it is that you called for, I assure you that I don't care. have a good night
The best part of that night wasn't even the sex, it was listening to her explain to her boyfriend why she was naked in her room while I hid in her closet.
There was a slutty maid costume on the floor when I woke up, but the house was trashed. Either she's been fired or got promoted, I'm not sure which.
I don't need my coworkers thinking I'm a nutcase.
You gift wrapped a tampon.
I'm not sure how long my penis is exactly, but I will tell you it resembles a bendy straw
I chose not to drink last night but drinking chose me
Wait are we really having an orgy on Tuesday?
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
I need to get some goddam control over my hormones
My theme for the night was drink diego drink! Unfortunately Dora was not there to navigate me to the bathroom
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