just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
Yeah. We was talkin. Its ok. My bed is too filled with pam for sex. Its like a slip and slide of butter product.
I just took went to the bathroom and it smelt like blue curococo... I didn't flush yet so head on up if you wanna know what a good night smells like.
You did this to me with your delicious pizza and moonshine.
I'll forgive you once we're drunk again by noon.
PUB CRAWL IS THE WEEK I COME BACK FROM NOLA OMG OMG OMG. Has it been a year already since I tried to make out with you and you let a bar tender take a shot out of your cleavage? Time flies.
Also.. The Hobbit does not look like a cartoon. We were just too fucking high.
you slapped the bag of goldfish out of her hands and screamed, "BITCH THIS AINT NO AQUARIUM". That's how fucked up
Let's hurry up so I can puke at home instead of my van
You don't understand. My ass is the color of eggplant.
Drunk me just left a note for sober me apologizing for all the fucking crumbs in our bed
Nothing quite like the "I had sex you a month ago and now we're stopped at the same 4 way" wave
also I have no idea whose underpants I'm wearing right now but they're super comfy and I'm not giving them back ever
I don't remember much, but I remember he called me the dick whisperer, so it must not have been all bad.
You don't know bruises until you've been banged by 3 drunk bagpipers in the back of thier bus
Sunday morning breakfast with the boyfriends family. I just puked in the stall at Cracker Barrell. Classy.
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