atleast your grandma didn't give you her USED dildo just so you wouldn't have sex.
turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
The only requirement is that his name is Kevin... All other factors don't matter to drunk me. Drunk me likey Kevins.
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
she's a dental assistant. she can get nitrous. kinda looks like a sloppy bucket of fuck. time to take one for the team. NEED SHOTS STAT!!
Anal and Aoki tickets...I'd say I give pretty good Valentines Day gifts.
Twas the night before the bachelor party, and all thru the house...not a creature was stirring, not even a stripper?...
Want to come over? I'm getting stoned and watching Netflix and making s'mores over a candle in my room
I'd introduce you to the guys, but you'd probably make them all fall in love with you
I could do with a Floridian man-harem. Let's do this.
She legitimately thought I was hiding in the fridge, then she checked the second one to be sure
he's singing something in russian and knocking over my plants with his dick, get his drunk ass out of my apartment
HE STUCK IT IN THE FISHBOWL WTF
There are days when you go to throw something in your bedroom trash can and realize the only things in there are a used condom, a Lime-arita can and a muffin wrapper.
Did your grand seduction include learning to play careless whisper on a kazoo or was that just a hobby
I woke up completely naked in a mint condition 71 chevelle in someones garage. What.
I'm the one who said we should take things slow. I'm also the one who forced him into the back on my car so we could have sex.
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