there were more penises there than on chat roulette
I sent out a mass text that said "margaritas for Jesus?" and nobody responded, worst Easter ever.
I like how you try to look sexy and just end up looking like a weird boy.
Honestly, it was easier to just put it in my mouth than to deal with an awkward conversation.
Just drove through Taco Johns wearing a drug rug and no pants. When I rolled down my window, the girl paused for a minute before saying "um... 4.07"
I need a leash, or some shame. Maybe.
hungover waitressing a bar association event. im being judged by actual judges.
You called your ex's vag an "AIDS Pinata". Drunk You is the Hulk Hogan of insults.
It wasn't so much skinny dipping. It more like skinny walking...through a fountain.
Mm. I just want to eat pancakes off of his fine ass.
True love is when you jack off and continue talking to the girl you like
Why do you text me weird shit like this?
The amount of drugs I did this weekend make me concerned about my health but at the same time fascinated to see if I could do more
He was telling me how he was trying to grow up. And then 2 minutes later, he told me he was tripping on lsd for the first time.
What do I do with all this pork broth? I can't waste it.
CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG
I think people are normalizing furries
Randomize
