And now his mom knows I was dipping my pen in company ink
apparently they started giving me water shots and i couldnt tell the difference
I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
So I'm eating my sandwich... and a penny fell out of it.
giving yourself 2 days to recover i see
I'll need it. Largely because i'm going to be stumbling through fancy restaurants with a bottle of whiskey insulting couples all night.
i'm not sure if i'm mentally prepared for this.. politeness? proper grammar? book reader ? this is a whole new meaning of the species penis for me.
He did a 4 wheel burnout and yelled at the cops "Sorry! It's for a school project!". HOW does he think of this shit?
Duuuuuuuude, I need you to sleep with my girlfriend so I can tell you both to move out
Also I played a weird game of chicken in the ladies room at work between myself the person pooping 2 stalls over and a very determined maintenance man.
"Where are you? Where are my keys? What is this guys name again? Why am I wearing two pairs of your pants?"
Pssh I just bang a girl in a single person tent. Thats like the back seat of a sedan.
I take it you're alive?
Mostly. Can't quite control my arms.
I'm gonna go parent style on your ass... I don't ask much from you but if you could please just come get shitfaced with me I would really appreciate it
She was blacked out on the couch MASTURBATING and whispering to her boyfriend...who wasn't there. I yelled her name and she didn't even pause.
It's not even a normal fucking affair I've found myself in. It's a fucking bdsm clusterfuck.
Randomize
