Dear tim. Christina farted and it smells like kid roses.
But I don't consider them one night stands. They're auditions.
Skinny jeans should not be made in size 14. Then, it's just a lie.
I feel like I am becoming dumber sitting here in class than I would be sitting on the couch smoking weed.
maybe i'll see you again later :)
I'd rather shit a knife.
I think I'd do Clint Eastwood.
...kinda gettin a major gay vibe from you right now.
That was a text you sent me last night.
I just woke up at my desk with "To Whommmmmmmmm" typed on a letter. I have no memory of waking up, getting dressed or driving in.
Were betting on little kids falling and racing for a drinking game at the wedding.
The moment you ate chicken nuggets out of your purse you were my hero.
Where the hell did i get chicken nuggets from
At least you got a round of applause for dancing like vanilla ice across the street and into the bar. Even as you were getting carded
Apparently I filled my purse with chicken nuggets and told my mom I was a "sexual squirrel."
SKIIIIIIIIIIII, trip mo foes! Let-ith the epic- ness begin ith. Heroes go forth, nAy Sayers fuckin die. This is for the good of mankind! See you on the morrow
Apologies to the number who did not expect to get this but certainly be jealous of us.
So what you're saying is that The Magic Kingdom is ruining our plans to get laid?
I was floored. Like way less concerned with him using drugs than I am with him not believing in evolution.
Don’t say some truly stupid shit like that to me. In a kitchen. Where the knives are kept
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