who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
I wish I could punch you in the face.
quick I need to know all the foods that the very hungry caterpillar ate
People kept wishing me happy birthday last night. apparently i was 21st birthday drunk
When you're opening a bottle of tequila with a golf club, it's probably time to stop drinking...
Recording ancient aliens and the third Reich. Stoned you will thank me later.
Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
It's a "nonproductive" (vocab word) cough. It's like a constant tickle in my throat, like there's a little elf with feathers for feet going Gangnam style on my "uvula" (vocab word).
Star Trek does not adequately answer all the questions that I have about alien genitals
If you're mature enough to fuck him you're mature enough to tell him you don't want a relationship come on
We're living together and you don't know if I've seen Titanic?!
Sitting in my kitchen at 3am, craving dick and eating peanut butter instead. I'm not sure how I feel about being 27.
My new roommate is one of my Tinder matches... It is so on.
I think i just made eye contact with his roommate... while doing reverse cowgirl. Yup i have no shamee
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
Randomize
