Reach down the front of your pants and feel around for a while. When you find your balls, leave the library and meet me at the bar.
dude i just heard a girl tell another girl 'what part of im trying to get laid tonight dont u understand?'
needless to say i wont be back home tonight
I think I have swimmer's ear. From his tongue.
Apparantly 7 1/2 Vicodin is a 1/2 too many.
This is even worse then that time I fucked a guy just because he had air conditioning.
There's a treasure map on your stomach. Treasure may or may not be the clothes you lost...enjoy
the night ended with taco bell and tears
I can't. I think his penis is about to take out a restraining order against me.
her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
You're married and I'm going to make out with a stranger tonight. Isn't that weird? It's like a gap in the time space continium.
That's what my new years consisted of. Consoling heartbroken girls and having people throw up in my hands.
You were, but he disappeared after you said you wanted him to get you pregnant so you'd have a child by the time the Boy Meets World sequel starts
I traded my pants for a Santa hat last night and it was so worth it.
Dude, please tell me you know why there's a naked chick asleep outside my room.
fuck st louis. fuck their hockey. fuck their basball. fuck their football if they still got it. fuck their tiddlywinks teamm. fuck their ribs. fuck their entire city. what im trying to say is i dont like st louis
Randomize
