My superpower would be to be able to make a chick instantly start her period just by thinking about it
Alex, there's no such thing as a fancy sex store.
You know its bad when you can over hear the planned parenthood nurses talking shit behind your back... they've seen everything
I just finished washing your number off of my chest. I'm Bryan by the way.
Dude also, my grandma got me condoms for easter and kind of winked. I don't know what to think
i can barely afford taco bell don't think a baby is in the budget
Saying he's good in bed would be like saying Soulja Boy is a good rapper, completely unlogical if you've heard him.
I have one of those hangovers where you visualize how awesome it would be to climb in your fridge and drink glacier water
You said that when your ex gave you a blowjob her mouth was like velvet
Martha Stewart has had a one night stand and is unsure if she's had a threesome. I no longer feel slutty.
He was leaving the restaurant I was going to as I was parking. I didn't want to scream, "hey, didn't I jerk you off?" Out of my window at 10 am
Dinner at 5, shrooms at 10.
I always can't wait to see you but when there's also an opportunity to get naked it elevates to an entirely different level
I mean we all knew i was gonna get arrested eventually but shoplifting is lame so dont tell anyone. Well just let them assume public nudity or something
Angels sing when his face is between my thighs. I came 3 times before he even came up for air.
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