talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
I feel like i made up for not being able to drink on St Pattys Day, Mardi Gras, and last years Cinco De Mayo. That hungover.
Always fun waking up to 911 as your last dialed call.
The jerky fairy visited my fridge. It's glorious.
people in the room actually applauded when we discovered you had the ability to somehow throw up on your own back
It feels like there's puke trying to explode out of me from behind my eyeballs.
I should come with a disclaimer that reads "bad at relationships and defensive when confronted about it"
or maybe "WARNING: picks fights when bored"
If there's one thing I learned yesterday, it's that if I really wanted to I could be mayor of Toronto.
I'm watching the World Cup in bed naked with john and our USA flag aviator glasses. Can you say America?
Do not ever chug tabasco sauce.
I just woke up and I don't really remember anything past 1pm. How much am I missing?
A good 10-11 hours. You got laid twice. Also, you out-ran a cop and played football with a lamp.
when i was on the highway she passed out and knocked my transmission into nuetral with her forehead...that was an experience
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
I walked in the kitchen and heard her saying "We could have been so good together" as she caressed an egg with her cheek.
Not going to make it tonight. Some cougar at the bar just told me she has dibs on my dick.
Randomize
