i woke up this morning in my bathroom,naked, with my boxers around my face and puke and shit on the floor and wondering why i didn't have a toenail on my one big toe.
compared to you, a hobo is quite responsible.
Im starting to realize why people dont masturbate while driving
you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
chugging beers on the train. people are staring. I would be offended if it wasn't 8:30
Idea for the cake. Joints for candles. Do it.
I had 800 mg of ibuprofen 2 b vitamins and I'm pounding water like I'm trying to win a hazing
Just visited the liquor store.... for the 4th time today. shits gonna get weird
Well i would have gone to the bar but Satan decided to hold his rituals in my uterus.
The port-o-potty that I peed in last night didn't actually have a toilet in it. And i never told anyone until this moment.
I've pulled 4 ticks off of me. This is the last time I suck dick in the wild.
I'm in the Sheetz parking lot waiting for dad to finish a drug deal.
Let me just get through this whole court subpoena thing and then ill go back to buying alcohol for minors.
Only you could get too drunk for taco bell. I don't know if I'm jealous or ashamed. Go to bed.
He was so drunk last night. He woke up out of a dead sleep at 330am, walked over to the dresser, opened his middle drawer and proceeded to pee. When I woke up and asked him Wtf he was doing, he told me it was fake pee and blamed it on the cat...we don't have a cat
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