Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
What are you drinking?
Shitty Coors light. OM NOM NOM TASTES LIKE HIGH SCHOOL
So I'm pretty sure when I was giving a Birthday Blow J, he went to grab my boob, but grabbed a fat roll and asked "You're not wearing a bra?"
There's a girl sitting in front of me making a PowerPoint on Jack Bauer.
The ratio of how much he pisses me off to how much sex i get just isnt working out for me
You're a disgrace to the female race and the love triangle and halloween.
Just had a tranny complement my outfit. Looks like I'll have to change before we go out.
hotdog in my bra and i still managed to score. Got a bit freaked when he tried to eat it though. I paid 3 bucks for that fucking hotdog.
I'm just sad for you. It sucks that the 17 douchebag asshole guys you're fucking can't morph into one nice, normal, non-alcoholic guy that has a drivers license and no criminal history.
My pubic hair is shaved into the shape of mistletoe.
I hope that's a joke and if not I need a snap of it
I woke up while eating peanut butter from a jar. I don't think I should be social today.
*tries to be fun and flirty* *literally gets peed on*
i spent most of last night convincing myself that dan akroyd wasn't actually standing in my bathroom holding a dead chicken
Wake up. Smoke. Masturbate while eggos cook. Go back to bed. Smoke. Body spray shower. Beer with breakfast. Class. Morning of a champion.
What time is our conjugal visit?
Umm...who is this?
Randomize
