He's 11. You dont draw dicks on 11 year olds, i dont care if he ate your lasagna
Nothing like hearing a USA chant while getting head. God bless America.
Just scrubbed my teeth for a good twenty minutes. Herpes is afraid of toothpaste, right?
just saw someone climb out of the dumpster at cvs and start walking down the street like it was completely normal
Your girlfriend is in jail- I've just never been able to use that in a sentence before. Thank you both!
She told me that for every Ravens touchdown, I'd get to come once.
Marry her. Marry her now. I'll help you steal the ring.
Im having a st. Get way fucked till i speak Irish pre game party. Bring a compass cause we are about to get lost
I'm sitting on the floor singing Bruno mars while they cook and occasionally pet me
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
I'm not sure... How do you tell someone who was so smashed they couldn't remember shoving their dick into the fireplace that their mother actually witnessed the whole thing?
So our bartender was in the bathroom the same time I was so I ordered a beer mid stream.....is that weird?
if i get arrested im counting on you to get a picture of it
I'm so festive that I used my jack o lantern bucket as a just in case barf bin
They left a cherry picker with the keys in it on a college campus, what else were we supposed to do?
Just do what I do and listen to your vagina. She’ll growl when she smells good dick
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