i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
He has crabs, not bed bugs. I recommend incoporating a clinic on this mornings walk of shame route.
I ended up taking shots of whiskey and chasing them with potato wedges, I have never felt more Irish
I had to drink heavily last night because I needed to forget that you told me you want to blow my dad.
Yessssssssss. I got taped to a couch last night apparently. I also thought i was close to scoring after talking to some chick about hard boiled eggs
They were actually really boring considering how we met them.
howd you meet them?
They got shit-faced and decided to take a train to a city none of them had ever been to. We found them wandering the ghetto, with a bottle of gin and singing Disney songs.
She was pretty drunk. It was like watching a puppy explore the world for the first time.
Everything sucks i just wanna cry and smoke a bowl and pet my cat and die. All at the same time
Bro, he broke his neck diving into a kiddy pool.
I went in the closet and cried, then the bathroom and cried, and lastly he showed me his penis and I cried. It was a weird night.
I don't listen when you talk. I just try to find new creative ways to get you to send me naked pictures.
I was riding him and in the middle he literally said "fuck yeah, Amy Winehouse"
i put frozen meatballs in my drink thinking they were ice cubes and I'm vegetarian wtf
It is getting ridiculous, the elaborateness of the schemes I have to concoct so my suitemates don't know I'm pooping.
She just texted me saying "come over and eat me out, my vagina smells like honey glazed ham." I know I shouldn't be, but i'm just so curious.
Randomize
