the guy working at the drive-thru just asked me if i wanna bang after he gets off work tonight.
given your current drought situation, im genuinely curious to know what your answer was
i told him maybe and gave him my number. sad? probably. but even if the sex is bad maybe i'll get a free burger out of it
Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
I somehow fell asleep on my kitchen counter using the microwave as a pillow
MRIs the morning after St. Patty's Day was a poor choice.
Well now that I've given all the athletes mono there goes our chance of winning any conference championship
we've decided to start cutting you off when you can't figure out how to work an ipod.
If turning my entire backyard into a slip-n-slide is wrong then I don't wanna be right
He just lit his joint with the tiki torches around his pool. He is definitely coming to my future parties
But you have work tomorrow. And a whore to pick up. And a dinner to eat. And a vagina to slaughter. Your day is full!
I appreciate the concept of vaginal slaughtering.
I'm the saddest girl in a tutu right now.
okay when i look at this i can see it on the future news along with the headline "picture scandal involving senatorial candidate sexually harassing drunken idiot in what appears to be a pink room of pain"
You had a hat of bras. Probably a good dozen, which is totally impressive for a Thirsty Thursday
I remember eating bacon bits off your chest that night... I'll never look at bacon pizza the same way
if i hadn't ended our catfight by hugging you one of us might be dead right now
My sinuses still burn from snorting red wine last night.
Randomize
