Yo dont text me then not text me
She just did a myspace photoshoot with her baby
My mom walked down and caught me drinking by myself, watching the nanny at 3:30AM. I had no idea what to say
they got in a fight during sex...she came out yelling and covered in chocolate
Remind me to never go to the bar with your Asian friends again. I need to be able to read or pronounce what I'm drinking.
Drunk me thought he was hot enough to overlook the fact that he had poison ivy and still have sex with him. Sober me wants to know if you have any calamine lotion.
I can't find my underwear or one of my shoes but he baked me cookies for breakfast.
Its what happens when I drink whiskey in a sweater. It makes me feel mature and ponderful.
Ok! I picked up an anti-celebratory bottle of champagne on the way to dinner for her going to rehab. That's how I feel about this...
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
It was fine until he came back to my place, grabbed a beer, HIGH-FIVED me, and left.
We had to take the hinges off the bathroom door. Needless to say, you are no longer welcome at that bar
Knows all the good gay bars AND has a dog? Wtf can't I drop pizza on guys like that????
I just got a robo call from the Addiction Help Line. Not sure how to take that.
I woke up and found my apartment really clean, appearantly drunk me couldn't tolerate living there anymore and left sober me a lot of insulting post-its...
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