is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
He tagged himself in all of my pictures so he would get a notification if someone commented on it.
Restraining orders are what college is about.
So I've officially decided that I AM that drunken mistake that girls hate themselves for in the morning.
My favorite part about you getting arrested is having to explain the prosthetic leg in the front seat.
cum and cheesecake for breakfast...don't fucking tell me pride week isn't awesome
It was also my first failed attempt at shower sex.
Omg calling you in 10 to update you on who I peed on last night
The difference between you and me last night was that I didn't remember getting into the cab and you didnt know we were in one.
Oh man. Realized I was high when I realized how long I'd been watching Roseanne
Trust me man, I did not put any cookies down your pants when you slept.
I just woke up eating some beef jerky with my cat. I think she opened the bag for us.
can we just pause for one second and address the fact that balls were out last night
Her neighbors? They're nice. Young family. Tried not to get puke on their side of the lawn.
I'm hungry, horney and thirsty. Pick two you want to help out with.(please pick horney)
Googled 'how drunk am I' and it was NOT helpful
Randomize
