being alone eating nachos and drinking from a giant munchen beermug really isnt that sad
Just had to throw up on the floor of my car during traffic on the way to work. Car next to me saw both times. Found the downside to having a job right after graduation.
spotted: something called the tunnel of opression. i feel like if we patricipated we wouldnt even be phased or we could run it better than them
The thing is that despite the high paying career and the increased responsibility, my life hasn't changed that much. Only instead of blacking out on $2 wells at some dive I blackout on top shelf martinis in a suit. Oh and only on Fri & Sat nights. Being 30 doesn't suck as bad as everyone led me to believe.
I swear to god, allah, buddah and motherfucking oprah winfrey... if I have to stay here any longer because you are holding us up I will choke you out.
And you will no longer be getting a thank you note from my vagina
He's so hot and there's so much R Kelly and vodka I think I might die.
I took it upon myself to take one shot of tequila to have an excuse for hitting on my not-single coworker. It worked.
Literally just napped at strip club. Don't know how long
Remember Christopher who always sends me pictures of his penis? Look to your right, boy in the blue.
She always used to joke about becoming a stripper. WHO'S FUNNY NOW?!
I'm going to be such a slut in Europe I've already decided
Send me dick pics. We'll make a scrap book
I called him the wrong name all night, yet I still got a ride home from the party and hooked up with the guy. I'm irresistible.
PANTIES FOUND
Drunk me is having trouble keeping up with sober me's standards
Randomize
