I didn't shave. On purpose
can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
Who is John, and why is his named carved into our toilet?
You decided to make a porno with gummy bears and things went downhill from there.
you took him to the bathroom with you to pee and told him he had to hold your hand..but he couldn't turn on the lights because you didnt want him to hear you peeing..and still got laid. i wish i had your life.
We need to either drink and not go to waffle house or go to waffle house and not drink. I need to know which is causing these shits.
Walking back from greek row alone at 3:30am in a child's kangaroo suit...not my proudest moment
Why was there a 1000 piece puzzle covered in hot sauce being cooked in the microwave?
Matt just ate a burger out of the trash can in front of the McDonalds. We need to have a serious talk about his drinking.
Dude I'm about to just roll over and piss off the side of my bed, rather than make the conscious effort to get up and walk to the bathroom. One of those hangovers.
Not sure if you're still doing the whole "sleeping with only one person" thing but if you're not we should sleep together when I get back in town tonight.
I had jack at 8 am= instant drunk
Geez don't go to a bar for a few days and everyone freaks out.
Who's the captain of your team? Captain Morgan as usual?
And me
His sister hates me so I took his virginity on her bed
Randomize
