Oprah is sooooo fat. I can't even concentrate on Mackenzie Phillips talking about banging her dad
he keeps his weed in a birkenstock shoe box. its like, we get it, youre from oregon.
Seeing him suck some chick's face on VH1 wasn't exactly how I imagined the "we should see other people" conversation going.
I'm talking like I woke up and her bra was spinning around caught on my ceiling fan
the worst part is we had a camera rolling
Did his mom notice it when she saw u guys?
Yes.
I have to watch that.
Had a dream I was a monkey and smoked pot out of a bong made out of a tree
His rich uncle has six months to live. I feel pregnant.
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
I feel like I just need to fuck him after all his effort. like a "hey man good try" like those kids who get last place and still get a trophy.
What's the policy for hitting on a girl at a funeral? She seems more bored than sad.
The problem with that is that my car has been stolen
The Medal of Honor you banged could be at the inauguration today. You really dropped the ball on keeping up with that one.
Thank god for federal credentials. Waaaaayyyy to hungover to go through airport security lines right now.
When the nurse referred to my vag as "your downstairs", I knew I found the perfect Doctors office.
When I go to hand him the blunt and he's eating a cookie and responds with "let me hit this cookie"
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