My dad just walked in on me screwing the chick from the bar...the look of relief on his face was sort of hurtful.
No we didn't have sex. I got my period on his finger.
i officially have more pictures of his dick than pictures of us together
Guy next to me is looking up how to press his own ecstasy pills. I'm going to befriend him and see where this goes
we just finished a porn and sex toy shopping spree. this is the fun part of "being serious"
I don't know what to tell you, usually I would just ask if they'd like to meet the captain. If you can't get laid it's your problem.
You could become Eskimo brothers with my dad. How can you pass that up? You pussy.
I'll be there in spirit. Right there in your vagina.
Things you do not want to hear after sex: I almost lost my gum in your pussy. Really dude, don't share that with me!
His pillow talk sucks. It was like Mr. Roger's vagina.
its like a catch 22, sucks that you've stopped, but its like a vagina high five
His cat watched us the ENTIRE time. Every time I glanced over the poor kitty looked at me as if I were pelvic thrusting her father to death.
I'm no longer puke free since 2013 am I.
Me and dad were just reflecting on that time he found a gas mask bong in the backyard.
Um. I just realized I still have a beer in my purse from last night. I'm at work. I am so classy.
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