dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up
haha what'd she say
i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF
You put your red cup in a chain link fence and kept telling me you could use it as a telescope
I just opened a gallon of milk that is good through the 10th of January- I hope I can say the same for myself.
i feel like an archaelogyst. im pulling apart last weeks brownies to find the weed in them
Does this sound normal?...She's ironing on pictures of her dead cat to all of her green clothes...
100% of annual heatstroke fatalities are preventable deaths! Don't let it happen to you! Also, you can catch crabs from almost anything! Be safe and have fun.
like seriously. this whole place is the shit. like i can move clouds. no other way to explain it but i can fucking move clouds.
If my penis could make facial expressions, it would constantly have a smile on.
I thought it was improvement but then i realized sex isn't an emotion and I hate everyone
Is it too early in the day to ask a nipple-related question?
Happy Halloween!! Last Halloween we spent together you got brought home in a shopping cart
My face feels like a midget just gave birth to quintuplets
If I die tonight somebody's going to have to let all my tinder matches know.
the girl next to me was drawing sonic the hedgehog on her exam what the fuck
godspeed
It was a good thing I was on the balcony flashing those guys or I would have never seen her skipping to his car
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