No see this is how It goes: guys will fuck virgin girls. But girls don't really want to fuck virgin guys. So you're good have no fear.
I just realized last night I drunk-bought a flight to Florida for this weekend...kinda torn between the price and the potential of awesomeness
It's like trying to pry an octopus off you. Except the octopus speaks English and can get drunk.
She refused to give me a hand job while we were watching a war movie saying she didn't wanna disrespect the soldiers
...She was shooting whiskey using a turkey baster...i was horrified.
TAKE ALL THE MAERHMALLOWS AND PUT THEM ALL IN THE MAGICAL NIGHTSTAND
well, the drug dealer I've been fucking the past 5 months gave me a chilis gift card for Christmas, so things are looking up.
Last two new years I ended in jail by 12. Can we wait until its actually 12:02 this time to do something stupid. I'd like to spend the first minute of 2012 free.. At least.
A group of drunk Marines just serenaded me, never leaving this place
Jäger goes great with personal crises and receding morals...
Saw two pregnant women at court today and I SWEAR one of them said "we had a threesome with this random guy and he got both of us pregnant."
I AM GONNA CUM EVERYWHERE TONIGHT BRO.
Don't drag this out. All I need to know is if I have to put pants on or not.
ever feel bored AND lazy?
I call it "awake" but yeah...
So I have a horrible yeast infection right now and I learned that Scott is cheating on me and now he has a yeast infection in his mouth and in his stomach a pretty aggressive one too. I believe the doctors call it thrush. Text me in the morning tell me what you think.
Randomize
