next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
what made you think it was a good idea to trust the girl that hides tequila in her backpack?
I just realized that i have never seen about 30 percent of my friends sober before
I couldnt decide if i wanted to pee first or vomit. So i Peed sideways while throwing up into the tub.
I mean I woke up wearing my bathing suit which blows my mind
He taught me how to drive a stick by using his dick. He even made the whurrrr noise so I knew when to change gears.
How many ice cream sandwiches is an acceptable meal replacement?
2.5
"lets watch the sunrise" turned into "lets have sex on the roof at six thirty in the morning"
NO. NO LET HIS PENIS TOUCH YOU.
Can we do a version of last night where I actually remember shit?
And then we made magical love in his room under a blacklight as his roommate and girlfriend argued violently in the living room
Hi this is the guy from the cell phone store. Your Dad just upgraded your phone as a surprise. I didn't tell him about your topless pics on your phone. I transfered them to new phone. Nice rack!
As pissed as she was, you would've thought I was trying to get back into his pants instead of his booze collection.
WHAT IS HAPPENING
A FLOCK OF DICKS IS MIGRATING TOWARDS US.
He yelled "I'm Bruce Springsteen!" when he came. This is why I don't sleep with guys from Jersey.
Randomize
