All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
I think thanksgiving was created so we could all be thankful that we're still alive after the night before.
Threesome last night. Not that cool, you tend to pick a favorite.
we found you outside the hotel room sleeping with a note next to you that said " we made sure you were comfortable, hope your friends come back soon"
as you might have guessed from my lack of texts, the herpes have calmed down.
Happiness was finding the hidden Gatorade in the fridge
OH BABY IM HERE AND IN A BLANKET FORT
COME TO THE BLANKET FORT
I got drunk enough that when camel suggested jumping off the pier, I thought it was a fantastic plan. Also my blood hurts.
She got the hiccups while deep throating me. It was epic. Once in a lifetime experience.
I can give you five reasons its your baby
and I can give you 10 reasons it's not, but I'm busy so I'll just go with you have the wrong number. And also I'm a straight girl.
Nothing. Its like my body doesn't know how to function on a Saturday when its not hungover and/or still drunk.
I've had to take two showers today and it's not even 1 o'clock. Why won't this weekend wash off?
My husband just came over to kiss me and said, "careful, I got a block of cream cheese in my pocket"
Would it be inappropriate to meet you at the airport after your family vacation so I can tell you all about the amazing sex I have been having?
I thought it was your cat but I was wrong your Roomba is possessed by a pissed-off evil spirit.
Randomize
