Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
Someone should've told Pope jumper lady and terrorist pants guy that the Worst of 2009 lists already went out....
Apple Jack is not a good idea for breakfast. Whiskey can't replace milk.
She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
you wanted the guy to gift wrap the condoms
I walked downstairs and he was standing in nothing but his boxers with his dick hanging out warming up eggs in the microwave.
If you know any fat girls who would pay me for sex, I am low on money and morals right now
The background of my phone is you taped to the wall wearing a cowboy hat
Ye. Looking like it's about to be one of those mythical responsible weekends
CORAL IS FAR MORE RED THAN HER LIPS RED
Oh god you're Sonnet 130 drunk, aren't you.
Sitting on the curb by new england comics with a weeping drunk girl who's eating french fries saying she'll never be as successful as her sister the hand model. She's scaring the nerds.
You're married and I'm going to make out with a stranger tonight. Isn't that weird? It's like a gap in the time space continium.
The profile of her ass is just unreal. Weird way to use profile I know, but never more accurate
You showed me your butthole that's like a mating call in other species
FYI brushing your teeth & taking off your makeup does not erase the shame from the night before
Randomize
